Gogo Skhotheni is never one to shy away from uncomfortable truths. In a recent video that has since gone viral, she addressed the thousands of single mothers in her following, asking a question that cut deep for many:
“Does a man who does not support his child, who does not pay a cent, who does not know what that child eats or wears… does he have the right to just show up and say ‘I want to see my child’?”
She further probed the emotional toll this takes on mothers, asking:
“Why must we as women protect the ‘rights’ of a man who has forgotten his responsibilities? Is it fair for a child to be confused by a father who only appears when it is convenient for him, but is absent when the school fees are due?”
The Legal Reality vs. The Moral Question
While Gogo Skhotheni’s questions resonate with many who feel that “rights are earned through responsibility,” South African law—specifically the Children’s Act 38 of 2005—draws a very strict line between the two.
1. Maintenance and Access are NOT Linked
In the eyes of the law, a child’s right to be maintained (financial) and a child’s right to have a relationship with both parents (access/contact) are separate.
- The Rule: You cannot legally “block” a father from seeing his child just because he hasn’t paid maintenance.
- The Recourse: If a father fails to pay, the mother must take him to Maintenance Court. If a mother blocks access, the father can take her to Children’s Court.
2. The Best Interests of the Child
The court’s primary focus is always the “Best Interests of the Child.” Even if a father is behind on payments, the court often believes that having a relationship with their biological father is psychologically beneficial for the child, unless that father is proven to be abusive or dangerous.
